Xander: We're going up against a god. An actual mightier-than-thou god.
Willow: Well, you know what they say, the bigger they are-
Anya: The faster they stomp you into nothing.

Buffy: Okay, so, we know where Glory's from. What do we know about her? You know, she's tough, yeah, but, but no bolts of lightning, no blasts of fire, shouldn't a god be able to do that kind of stuff?
Giles: Uh, usually, yes, but um, being in human form must be severely limiting her powers. All we have to worry about right now is she's immortal, invulnerable, and insane.
Xander: A crazy hellgod? And the fun just keeps on leaving.

Tara: She's a brain-sucker?
Giles: She, um ... "absorbs the energies that bind the human mind into a cohesive whole." Once drained, all that's left behind is, uh...
Buffy: Crazy people.
Giles: Which is, I'm afraid, why there's been a marked increase in the ranks of the mentally unstable here in Sunnydale.
Tara: At least vampires just kill you.

Buffy: I just didn't wanna put you in that kind of danger.
Xander: As opposed to the other kind we're always in?

Glory: Hey, nice sword. Bet it hurts.

Tara: How can she not be real?
Willow: She's real, she's just kinda... new.

Dawn: Hey. We on the case?
Xander: Yeah. Right on top, perched, ready for action. How's my sweet fancy Dawn doing?
Dawn: Fine. What's up with you? Did you get into the sugar again?

Anya: You make a very pretty little girl!
Xander: Anya, you wanna help me with that thing?
Anya: Xander needs help with his thing!

Buffy: How was school today?
Dawn: The usual. Big square building filled with boredom and despair.
Buffy: Just how I remember it.

Dawn: Is it about that weird girl that came to the house?
Buffy: Glory. And no it's not.
Dawn: Like you'd tell me anyway. Dawn's too young and Dawn's too delicate.
Buffy: Right. A young delicate pain in my butt.

Dawn: I just think you're freakin' out 'cause you have to fight someone prettier than you. That is the case, right?
Buffy: Glory is evil. And powerful. And in no way prettier than me.
Dawn: I just think you're getting soft in your advanced age. She didn't look that tough to me.

Willow: See, just what you needed.
Buffy: You are very, very wise. Now gimme, gimme, gimme!

Buffy: Ohh ... it's beautiful. Thank you, guys.
Tara: Well, we thought you'd get lots of crossbows, other killy stuff.
Willow: Yeah, so we figured, less killy, more frilly.

Anya: Gotta look. Oh, it's just so lovely! Oh, I wish it was mine! *they all look at her* Oh, like you weren't all thinking the same thing.
Giles: I'm fairly certain I wasn't. *quietly to Xander* I've got one just like it.

Dawn: Why does everybody start acting all weird when I'm around?
Xander: Me? Me not weird.
Dawn: I'm not an idiot. I know you're talking about me.

Dawn: They were talking about me, just like everybody is.
Xander: Again, not so much. In fact, none.
Anya: We were talking about sex. I mean, you know us, sometimes we like to pretend stuff-
Xander: Anya!
Anya: You know, like, say there's a fireman, or a shepherd-
Buffy: You know what? Let's not have this exchange of images right now.
Dawn: Oh. Right. Of course. Can't let Dawn hear anything. Fine. I'm just gonna go to bed. That way I won't accidentally get exposed to, like, words.

Dawn: Geez! Lurk much?
Spike: I wasn't lurking. I was standing about. It's a whole different vibe.

Dawn: Are you giving Buffy a birthday present? Oh my god. Weird. And chocolates? Lame. And the box is all bent, and, well, you know she'd never touch anything from you anyway.

Spike: Shouldn't you be tucked away in your beddy-bye? All warm and safe where nothing can eat you?
Dawn: Is that supposed to scare me?
Spike: Little tremble wouldn't hurt.
Dawn: Sorry, it's just... come on. I'm badder than you.
Spike: Are not!
Dawn: Am too. You're standing in the bushes hugging a bent box of chocolates, and I'm-
Spike: What? Sneaking out to braid hair and watch Teletubbies with your mates?

Dawn: I'm breaking into the magic shop to steal things.
Spike: Magic shop, eh? All number of beasties between here and there. Bet they'd really go for a little red riding hood like you. Bet that wouldn't sit too well with big sister.
Dawn: I can take care of myself. *she looks a little anxious* You wanna come steal some stuff?
Spike: Yeah, all right.

Spike: Girl with a mission, eh? What's the caper? Jewels? Ancient artifacts? Or just plain hard cash liberated from the till?

Spike: Where did he learn to write so bloody small, from a fruit fly?

Dawn: Wait, here's something. Uh, "Tarnis, 12th century. One of the founders of the monks of the order of Dagon. Their sole purpose appears to have been as protectors of the key."
Spike: Brown-robe types are always protecting something. It's the only way they can justify giving up girls.

Dawn: "The key is not directly described in any known literature, but all research indicates an energy matrix vibrating at a dimensional frequency beyond normal human perception. Only those outside reality can see the key's true nature." Outside reality. What's that mean?
Spike: Mm. Second-sight blokes, mostly. Or even just your run-of-the-mill lunatics. *Dawn freezes, remembering all of the crazy things that have happened to her. Spike takes the book from her.* "The monks possessed the ability to transform energy, bend reality." Blah, blah, blah. Good lord, Giles writes as dull as he talks, doesn't he? "They started work. But the Council has suggested to us that they were interrupted. Presumably by... Glory. They obviously did manage to accomplish the taste... accomplish the task. They had to be certain the Slayer would protect it with her life. So they sent the key to her in human form. In the form of a sister." Huh! I guess that's you, nibblet.

Buffy: Maybe it's time to start a new tradition. Birthdays without boyfriends. It could be just as much fun.
Willow: Preaching to the choir here, baby.

Dawn: Is this blood?

Buffy: What did you do?!
Dawn: This is blood, isn't it? It can't be me. I'm not a key. I'm not a thing.
Joyce: Oh, sweetie, no. What is this all about?
Dawn: What am I? Am I real? Am I anything?

Dawn: How old am I now?
Joyce: You're fourteen, sweetheart, you know that.
Dawn: No. The monks. When did... when did they...
Buffy: Six months ago.
Dawn: I've only been alive for six months, huh?
Joyce: Honey, you've been alive a lot longer than that to us.

Dawn: You don't know anything. I'm-I'm just a key, right? Everything about me is made up.
Buffy: Dawn... Mom and I know what we feel. I know I care about you. I know that I worry about you-
Dawn: You worry about me because you have to. I'm your job. Protect the key, right?
Buffy: I worry because my sister is cutting herself!
Dawn: Yeah? How do you know? Maybe this is just another fake memory from my fake family.
Joyce: Sweetheart-
Dawn: Get out.
Buffy: Dawn...
Dawn: Get out, get out, get out!

Buffy: How could you let her find out like that? From books and papers? You hate me that much?
Spike: I was just along for the ride. Not like I knew she was mystical glowy key thing. Nobody keeps me in the bloody loop, do they?

Buffy: She shouldn't have found out like that.
Spike: You didn't think you could keep the truth from her forever, did you? Maybe if you had been more honest with her in the first place, you wouldn't be trying to make yourself feel better with a round of Kick The Spike.

Joyce: Honey? You're gonna be late for school.
Dawn: I'm not going. Blobs of energy don't need an education.

Joyce: You want me to make you some soup? I think there's some chicken and stars...
Dawn: I'm not sick! I'm not anything.
Joyce: Honey, calm down, okay...
Dawn: Don't tell me what to do. You're not my mother.

Jinx: It's time to set old animosities aside. Your fate is directly linked to her magnificently-scented Glorificus. She's been extremely forgiving of your considerable foibles up until now, but if you persist in your defiance, she'll be forced to-
Ben: To what? What is she going to do? Send a six-pack of minions to bore me to death? Glory can't lay a finger on me. You know it, I know it, she knows it. So save the threats, or I'll finish the job I started on your head.

Buffy: She probably feels like she can say or do anything right now. She's not real. We're not her family, we don't even know what she is.
Joyce: How can you talk about Dawn as if she's a thing?
Buffy: I'm not! I'm just saying that's probably how she feels.

Joyce: What she needs is her sister, Buffy, not the Slayer.
Buffy: The Slayer is the only thing standing between Dawn and this god from the bitch dimension that wants to shove her in some kind of lock and give her a good twirl.

Xander: I'm guessing some kind of super-powerful in her raw form.
Giles: People have killed, died for it... summoned armies to control the key.
Xander: You know... she kinda has a crush on me.
Giles: Your point being?
Xander: Well nothing, no, just saying, powerful being, big energy gal digging the Xan-man. Some guys are just cooler, you know?

Buffy: *yelling* Dawn!
Spike: Yeah, that should do it.
Buffy: Shut up.
Spike: The nibblet scampered off to get away from you. She hears you bellowing, she's gonna pack it in the opposite direction. Can't say I blame her.

Spike: Look, she probably would have skipped off anyway, even if she never found out. She's not just a blob of energy, she's also a fourteen-year-old hormone bomb. Which one's screwing her up more right now, spin the bloody wheel. You'll find her, just in the nick of time, that's what you hero types do.

Dawn: What am I?
Orlando: The key. I found it. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Dawn: You know what the key is? Where did I come from? Who made me, wha-what am I?
Orlando: Thank you, thank you...
Dawn: Please!
Orlando: Destroyer! Cracked... bones... the sun bleeding into the sky! The key is the link.
Dawn: No, no.
Orlando: The link must be severed. Such is the will of God. Such is the will of God. Such is the will of God.

Ben: Two steaming cups of chocolate goodness courtesy of... whoever I swiped it from out of the cupboard. Couldn't find any marshmallows. I'll try to steal some for next time.
Dawn: Don't like 'em anyway.
Ben: What? Is that even possible?
Dawn: Too squishy. When I was five, Buffy told me they were monkey brains, and I-
Ben: Dawn, was your mom brought back in? Is that why you're here?
Dawn: No. My mom's just fine.

Ben: Is there anybody I can call? Your sister?
Dawn: I don't have a sister.
Ben: Oh ... you two have a fight? It's okay, I know how that goes. I got a sister too. They can be a real pain sometimes. I tell you, there've been a lot of nights I wish she didn't exist either.
Dawn: It's not Buffy. It's me. I'm the one that doesn't exist.
Ben: Look, I know it can feel that way sometimes, but when you're older-
Dawn: No, you don't understand. It's not real. None of this. They made it.
Ben: Dawn-
Dawn: I'm nothing! I'm just a thing the monks made so Glory couldn't find me. I'm not real.

Ben: Go! Before she finds you. Don't ask me how she knows, 'cause she always knows. Just go.
Dawn: Wait! Calm down, just tell me-
Ben: You don't understand, you're a kid. You stay, she'll find you. She finds you, she'll hurt you.
Dawn: What's wrong with you?
Ben: You're what she's been searching for. I am telling you, run.

Glory: Could a fabric be more annoyingly pedestrian? Now this is what I'm talkin' about. Makes your skin sing.
Dawn: You're-you're Ben...
Glory: Uh, it's an eensy more complicated than that. Family always is, isn't it? *Dawn looks at the door.* You'd never make it. I'd rip out your spine before you got half a step. And those little legs? They wouldn't be much good without one of those.

Glory: Now. What I'm trying to noodle, is what in the world was the Slayer's little sis doing here with gentle Ben?
Dawn: Y-you don't remember?
Glory: Remember what? You were talking to him, not me. Oh, he wasn't being naughty, was he?

Glory: Okay. Small talk over. I'm in a bit of a crunch here, so let's cut right to the ooey gooey center. Your sister, the Slayer, has my key. It's mine, I want it. Do you know where she squirreled it away? There's ice cream and puppydogs in it for you if you start singin'.
Dawn: *nervously* I'm not sure. What does it look like?
Glory: Well... the last time I caught a peep, it was a bright green swirly shimmer. Really brought out the blue in my eyes. But then those sneaky little monks pulled an abracadabra, so now it could look like anything. You see the predicament I'm in.

Dawn: So this... key thing, it's been around for a long time?
Glory: Well, not as long as me, but... yeah. Just this side of forever.
Dawn: Is it evil?
Glory: Totally! Well, no, not really. I guess it depends on your point of view.
Dawn: What's it for? I mean... if it's a key, there's gotta be a lock, right?
Glory: Yes. We have a winner.

Glory: I smell a fox in my hen house. Is that why you've been playing sugar and spice with old Uncle Ben? Trying to get a peek at Glory's unmentionables?
Dawn: No, I-
Glory: Shh! I kinda wanna hear me talking right now. Me talking. You know what I'm starting to think? I'm thinking... that maybe you... don't have any idea where my key is. Very irritating. Irrational. Know what I mean, tiny snapdragon? Like... bugs under my skin. And say, I'm feelin' a little...
Dawn: What's wrong with you?
Glory: Hey. Hey! This doesn't have to be a complete waste of my precious time. I've been meaning to send the Slayer a message. And I could use a little pick-me-up. Two birds, one stone, and *she claps her hands right in front of Dawn's face* Boom. You have yummy dead birds.

Buffy: Get away from my sister.
Glory: Hey, we were just talking about you.
Buffy: Conversation's over, hell-bitch.

Spike: I thought you said this skank was tough.
Glory: He wakes up, tell your boyfriend to watch his mouth.
Buffy: He is not my boyfriend.

Buffy: What did you do to her?
Willow: Teleportation spell. Still working out the kinks.
Buffy: Where'd you send her?
Willow: Don't know. That's one of the kinks.

Buffy: Are you okay? Did she hurt you?
Dawn: Why do you care?
Buffy: Because I love you. You're my sister.
Dawn: No I'm not.
Buffy: Yes you are. Look, it's blood. It's Summers blood. It's just like mine. It doesn't matter where you came from, or, or how you got here. You are my sister. There's no way you could annoy me so much if you weren't.

Dawn: Wait. Ben. He was here, he was trying to help me. He... *she pauses, confused* I... I think he might have left before Glory came. I can't... I can't remember.
Buffy: It's okay. Don't worry about it. Next time we see him, we'll thank him.

Buffy: Mom's freaking out.
Dawn: Oh. Is she mad about the whole fire thing?
Buffy: I think you sorta have a get-out-of-jail-free card on account of big love and trauma.
Dawn: Really? Okay. Good. You think she'd raise my allowance?
Buffy: Don't push it.


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