Dr. McKay: You got your eye on anyone?
Dr. Beckett: Umm, not really.
Dr. McKay: Actually, I was talking to the mouse. But now you mention it, some of those Athosian women are pretty hot, and we did just save them from the Wraith so we've gotta trade on that while we can, you know, before they discover that we're not actually that cool.

Dr. McKay: I'm sorry. Medicine is about as much a science as, uh, I don't know, voodoo?

Dr. Beckett: You are the first human trial.
Dr. McKay: Well, why now? I mean, if it's possible, we need as many people with the gene as we could get.
Dr. Beckett: Well actually, without proper F.D.A. approval, it was virtually impossible on Earth to... Let's just say it's, uh, legal here in the Pegasus galaxy.
Dr. McKay: Wh-- and completely safe?
Dr. Beckett: As far as experimental gene therapy goes. I am manipulating your D.N.A. Here we go!

Dr. Beckett: In this case we're using a mouse retrovirus to deliver the missing gene to your cells.
Dr. McKay: A mouse retrovirus?
Dr. Beckett: It's been deactivated.
Dr. McKay: Well, are there any side effects?
Dr. Beckett: Dry mouth, headache, the irresistible urge to run in a small wheel...
Dr. McKay: That's very amusing.

Grodin: Major Sheppard seems to be taking his time okaying enough space.
Dr. Weir: Well, the safety and security of this expedition are his.
Dr. McKay: *offscreen* OK, I'm ready.
*They look up just as Sheppard pushes McKay over the balcony above them.*

Dr. McKay: It's a personal shield; acts like a protective skin and it must have inertial dampening properties too, because I didn't feel a thing. Watch this. Hit me.
Grodin: Ow, God!
Dr. McKay: You didn't have to swing so hard, and notice he didn't even hesitate.

Dr. Weir: I'm still trying to understand how you thought it was a good idea to test this device by having someone throw you off a balcony.
Dr. McKay: Oh, believe me, that's not the first thing we tried.
Maj. Sheppard: I shot him. In the leg!
Dr. McKay: I'm invulnerable!
Dr. Weir: Aren't you the one who's always spouting off about how proper and careful scientific procedure must be adhered to?
Dr. McKay: (singing like a child) In-vulne-ra-ble.

Dr. McKay: You're just jealous.
Dr. Weir: Oh yes, green with envy!
*he can't remove it*
Dr. McKay: This could be a problem. I can't get at it.

Grodin: I'm thinking Mr. Invincible.
Dr. Beckett: Captain Untouchable.
Grodin: Ooh, that's good!
Dr. McKay: You guys done?

Dr. McKay: I'm hungry already. What am I going to do? If I don't get this stupid thing off, I'll be dead by the end of the day.
Dr. Beckett: Relax. You can live three or four days without water.
Dr. McKay: Yeah, I'm talking about food!
Dr. Beckett: Well, you found some Ancient text with the device. What did it say about taking it off?
Dr. McKay: Oh yeah, there were some explicit instructions which I chose to completely ignore.

Teyla: We have always lived in the shadow of the Wraith, but my people have never been in a place such as this. They are afraid. Some believe the ghosts of the Ancestors remain.
Dr. Weir: I don't think that's the case, but still we're going to need a bit more time in order to explore the entire city.
Maj. Sheppard: We're very cautious intergalactic explorers.

Dr. Weir: Well, I have another theory. We know that there is a mental component to using Ancient technology.
Dr. Beckett: You don't have to remind me. I experienced it first hand with that drone weapon back on Earth.
Dr. Weir: Exactly. So don't you think it stands to reason that McKay should be able to shut this thing off with his mind?
Dr. Beckett: Are you suggesting he doesn't want to shut it off?
Dr. Weir: We may be settling in here but this place is still pretty intimidating. I mean, a giant abandoned city full of things way beyond our level of understanding; impending threat of attack from the Wraith...
Dr. Beckett: No question, it gets bloody creepy here at night.

Dr. Weir: So I'm not saying it's conscious but perhaps subconsciously.
Dr. Beckett: I don't think he wants to die of dehydration.
Dr. Weir: No, neither do I, but he's not there yet.
Dr. Beckett: You think when it comes down to it, the shield will just shut itself down?
Dr. Weir: The Ancients were smart enough to build failsafes into their other technology. I mean, this entire city -- it rose from the deep of the ocean when danger was imminent. Why would they design a personal shield that could kill you?

Grodin: If both codes are properly entered, the naqahdah generator will overload. It will take thirty seconds.
Lt. Ford: You sure it'll do enough damage?
Dr. McKay: Ever seen a twenty kiloton nuclear explosion?
Maj. Sheppard: I have. *they all look at him oddly* Not up close.

Maj. Sheppard: Well, they thought he was finally dead, but when they turned their backs to go, his cold dead eyes opened beneath his hockey mask and he rose up with his giant bloody knife--
Jinto: What's a hockey mask?
Maj. Sheppard: Hockey is a game. The guys skate around and try to put a puck into the net. The goalies wear masks. It's really... scary.
Jinto: Tell us more of this game.
Wex: Can we play it?
Maj. Sheppard: Actually, I don't really see the attraction. Now football... football is a real man's sport, but we'll save that for another time.

Maj. Sheppard: Listen, Teyla. Uh, don't tell McKay what I said about hockey not being a real man's sport ‘cause, uh, it's a Canadian thing. He's a little touchy about it.

Maj. Sheppard: Oh! That is beautiful! Can you believe that?!
Teyla: Should I not?
Maj. Sheppard: Well, the defence didn't cover the receiver because he didn't think the quarterback could throw that far.
Teyla: They seem very... happy.
Maj. Sheppard: Well, they just won one of the best games of all time against all odds.

Lt. Ford: Flutie won the Heisman that year.
Dr. McKay: And then went to play in Canada.
Teyla: He played hockey too?

Dr. Weir: Hey, what are you guys doing?
Maj. Sheppard: I'm teaching Teyla how football is the cornerstone of Western civilization.
Dr. Weir: And you didn't invite me?
Maj. Sheppard: You like football?
Dr. Weir: No not really.
Maj. Sheppard: (Re; Hocky) It's real, it's unpredictable, it's full of passion and... beer... hotdogs.
Dr. McKay: Cheerleaders.
Dr. Weir: I just can't understand. You're allowed one personal Item and you chose this.
Maj. Sheppard: It's a metaphor. Don't you see? This entire expedition is the biggest Hail Mary in human history.
Teyla: What is a Hail Mary?
Maj. Sheppard: It's the play that you just saw. *Teyla just looks at him.* It's named after a prayer. See, there was this woman, and her name was Mary and she ... uh... Did I ever tell you how much I like Ferris Wheels?

Dr. Weir: What the hell is going on?
Dr. McKay: I don't know.
Grodin: Nothing like this has happened before.
Dr. McKay: We've only been here for a couple of days. This stuff is pretty old. It's that or there really are ghosts.

Dr. Weir: I wouldn't have thought you believed in ghosts.
Dr. McKay: I never used to, then I heard about things called Wraiths that can suck the life out of you with their hands. What the hell is that?

Dr. Beckett: He fainted.
Dr. McKay: Oh, there's gotta be a better word!
Dr. Beckett: “Faint” is the proper medical term.
Dr. McKay: I passed out from... manly hunger.
Maj. Sheppard: Well, hang in there. Doctor Weir, this is Sheppard. Uh, McKay's OK. He, uh, he fainted.
Dr. McKay: Oh, yes, very sympathetic! Let's all mock the dying man!

Grodin: We know it's attracted to energy.
Dr. Weir: How about shutting down the generators?
Dr. McKay: Well, uh, people also give off heat energy. But, now, granted it's negligible compared to that of the naqahdah generator but you take away this thing's only other obvious source of food and...
Dr. Weir: You're saying it could come after us.
Dr. McKay: Well, I only know one thing for sure, and that is that flying darkness that needs energy can only be very, very bad.

Dr. McKay: It must be a transporter.
Maj. Sheppard: We can name it later.

Maj. Sheppard: How's Ford?
Dr. Beckett: It's like he was hit by lightning.
Dr. Weir: He's gonna be OK?
Dr. Beckett: He's a tough kid.

Lt. Ford: Would you tell this guy there's nothing he could have done?
Maj. Sheppard: There is nothing you could have done.
Sarg. Stackhouse: I could have tried to pull him out, sir.
Lt. Ford: Yeah, then we'd both look like this.
Dr. Weir: Oh, you don't look so bad.
Maj. Sheppard: Doctor Beckett says you're gonna be back to, uh, pretty boy in no time.

Teyla: Jinto has something he wishes to say.
Jinto: I am sorry. What happened to you was my fault.
Lt. Ford: Where I come from, we've got a little saying; 'Stuff happens'. Actually, it's a little different but... You didn't mean for this to happen, did you? You're a good kid. You weren't doing anything wrong, which means this isn't your fault, okay? Same as when we came to your planet. We didn't mean for the Wraith to show up, they just did. That's why you're here. Your home was destroyed. You almost lost your dad. I don't remember you getting mad at me over that.
Jinto: Stuff happens.

Dr. McKay: The only downside is it looks like, uh, someone's actually gonna have to be here to press the buttons.
Maj. Sheppard: I'll do it.
Dr. McKay: Okay.
Dr. Weir: Wait a minute, Rodney. You're still wearing the shield. Now isn't there a chance that if something went wrong, that would protect you?
*The light on the shield goes out and it drops to the ground.*
Dr. Weir: I had a feeling.

Dr. McKay: You think I wanted it to come off just now? You think I'm scared? I'm not scared. I'll stay, I'll do this.
Maj. Sheppard: No, that's OK. You might faint again.

Grodin: So the shield device just came off by itself?
Dr. Weir: Yeah, it just stopped working. He even tried it on Sheppard.
Grodin: It wouldn't work on Sheppard.
Dr. Weir: Why not?
Grodin: McKay didn't tell you? The text we studied said the shield imprints on the wearer. If we're right, it wouldn't work on anyone else.

Dr. Weir: *Elizabeth lights the candle on the table* Teyla told the Athosian children that lighting a candle would help protect them.
Dr. McKay: And you're doing it because..?
Dr. Weir: It's gonna get dark in here.

*the entity is much larget then the containment device.*
Maj. Sheppard: I think you're gonna need a bigger boat.
Dr. McKay: Size doesn't matter.
Maj. Sheppard: That's a myth.

Teyla: Do you think it wants to be here?
Maj. Sheppard: What do you mean?
Teyla: It's been trapped here for thousands of years, alone.
Dr. Weir: It's not alone any more.
Dr. McKay: It doesn't think on that level. It thinks about eating, that's it.
Maj. Sheppard: Well, you would know!

Teyla: If we stay, it will kill us.
Maj. Sheppard: Not unless we kill it first.
Dr. McKay: Well, I don't see how.
Teyla: Then either we must go or it must. Maybe it wants to go.

Dr. McKay: This is a bad idea.
Dr. Weir: You said that already.
Dr. McKay: Well, it's worth saying again.

Dr. Weir: He's not burned. He's breathing. McKay? McKay.
Dr. McKay: What happened?
Dr. Weir: You did it.
Dr. McKay: I did?
Dr. Weir: It went through the Gate.
Maj. Sheppard: You must have passed out.
Dr. McKay: Oh. Well, thanks for not saying the other thing.

*Sheppard gestures towards McKay.*
Maj. Sheppard: That was a Hail Mary!

Dr. McKay: Thank you, take your time. Man down.

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